so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
