Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
