I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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