1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
