I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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