watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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