this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
