So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize