Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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