Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize