Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
