Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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