I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
