My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm going to jail i love you
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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