Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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