So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
did i walk over a car last night?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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