There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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