party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
