I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
