you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
