haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
