I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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