i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize