last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
