Don't EVER smell your tampon
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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