my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize