I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
