I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
