It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
