I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
