Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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