I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
