I puked a lego.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize