One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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