Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
