i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
