I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
