My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Even my vagina gasped.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
