Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
