I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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