Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
