omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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