I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
