About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
