omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
