google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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