Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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