she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
