Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was confusing and full of hummus
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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