I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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