its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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