I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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