Sponge bath it is.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
