all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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