Will you blow on my dice?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
