I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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