You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
