how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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