called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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