I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
