We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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