She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
