yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
