I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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