Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
