please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
